Healthy Race Perceptions

I woke up thinking about this topic today and just had to share.

Unless you've lived in a very small area where everyone just accepts everyone else (if this place exists, please enlighten me), you might know that racial tension is an issue not only in the U.S. but just about anywhere that humans inhabit the earth. It's just another way that people can successfully divide one another into categories, therefore fulfilling their desire to feel that they are better than someone else or to belong to an exclusive "club".

Some of my earliest and best memories were hanging out with my cousins whose father happened to be Chinese from the island of Borneo. I loved them and thought they were fun to play with. Complete and total acceptance. My kid brain was completely unaware that some people think it's acceptable or even expected behavior to classify a fellow human being in a negative way based on the how they look. 

Another of my earliest memories was going to Disneyland. Every time, my mom loved the It's a Small World ride. (I later discovered that this was mostly because it gave her the opportunity to sit down for a little while in a cool place), but for those of you who aren't familiar with the ride, it's basically a journey through the world...complete with automaton dolls who share songs, customs and dress from countries all over the world. It's a great way to teach young kids (and adults) that people are people everywhere and that different is cool. 

After living in Los Angeles till I was 13, my dad's job moved us to Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati area. Complete culture shock. We settled on the northern Kentucky side of the river due to housing cost, etc. and I wandered around searching for the melting pot that I was used to. It didn't exist. And then there was the river. The Great Divide. I observed that some Caucasians were afraid to cross the river onto the Ohio side and some African Americans refused to cross onto the Kentucky side. A light dusting of other races was represented. And racism was rampant. I heard things I didn't understand and didn't like. 

Then I moved to Georgia. I love Atlanta so much, I'm going back for more.  But like any southern city, it definitely has racial tension and issues. I remember this day when I was working in Buckhead at a massage place that I won't name. The owner and her administrative assistant who were both openly racist against black people behind closed doors (if that makes sense), said the local post office was giving them grief about something. The reason I mention race here is that it was an issue to them in this particular situation-this particular African American male employee was allegedly giving them trouble and wouldn't help them with their request. So they sent me. I didn't know what to think about that but I wanted to keep my job so I went. When I walked in the post office, despite what they had told me about him, I decided to form my own objective opinion. What I saw was a friendly enough guy just doing the best he could working a pretty thankless job day after day, probably dealing with a bunch of upper class, entitled (and in some case, racist) individuals. He knew where I was from (I was wearing a t-shirt with the company name on it). Despite his earlier experiences, he treated me like he hadn't already heard the same request twice that day. I was polite and respectful. So was he. I got service with a smile, no issues, no problems.

The reason I shared this story is because I believe others DO pick up on our vibes just as we do on theirs. Humans can sense perceptions, can correctly assess body language, even unconsciously. How we feel about a person or a group of people will come out sooner or later, even if we think we've buried it deep enough to get by in polite society. I catch myself sometimes, dividing people into groups or assuming that they will behave a certain way based on my pre-conceived notions. When I find myself doing this, I stop and say, wait! What do I know about this particular individual? And if the answer is "not much" then it's time to get to know him/her as a person, not as some part of a larger whole.